I have taken my head apart

allowed you to interfere

with the grace that bubbles

in my belly such a geyser

I have let your presence

tamper with my inner quiet

and in between

I have brushed my teeth,

I have boiled water

and asked myself when

I’d speak to you,

I have cooked

and cajoled, I have kissed

and been kissed, only

to find myself thinking

of when I would approach

you, reveal myself, show

you the wounding

from and the longing

for, your friendship,

and in between

I have journaled,

washed dishes, knowing

the time must be soon

and will be of my choosing, or not

and then I slept, deeply-

opened the door at dawn

for my cat who tapped my cheek

with its paw, I did not think

of you then, but returned to the warmth

of my bed. I awoke a second time

to my daughter’s request for food

and knew that today would be the moment

I boiled water for tea and coffee, made

French and ordinary toast, slipped

on my clothes and brushed my teeth

brushed my hair and oiled my face,

I drove, wrote, in the knowing

that the moment is in the seizing

the moment is now or not.